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    Saturday, May 9

    “Sorry” as a Verb

    I have done some deplorable things. I have behaved in ways that make me disgusted and embarrassed at the same time. 

    I used to think saying sorry was enough. I used to feel that since I was incredibly kind and generous 99% of my life, that the 1% in which I was horrible didn’t carry as much weight… as though there was some sort of general balance on a scale. It was a very egocentric way of looking at things and a great way for me to be a coward who can continue his cycle of toxic behavior. 

    What that selfish perspective kept me from seeing was that for some people, that 1% bad behavior was 100% of their interaction with me. It’s no wonder a simple, “I’m sorry” did nothing to ease the pain I caused; nor affect the cycle of my behavior.

    Personal growth isn’t always pretty or poetic. Sometimes, it’s an appalling realization that you’re an asshole… a moment of clarity that inspires the kick in the ass you need to make changes. 

    Don’t just say… SHOW!

    When a person matures, “sorry”, comes to life. Its emphasis is placed on demonstration more than vocalization. I learned that until that moment of clarity, you’re exponentially more likely to continue the poisonous behavior.

    When “sorry” becomes a verb, behavior is changed and healing can begin. 

     

    Snippet from “Whispers of Genius; Echoes of Madness” (April 2020)