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Saturday, September 5

People Who Need Therapy Don’t Come to Us

There is an uncomfortable truth hidden inside the old therapist’s observation: “People who need therapy don’t come to us. Their victims do.”

Of course, it is not literally true in every case. Plenty of self-aware people seek therapy because they recognize their own patterns and genuinely want to change.

But the line resonates because many people have experienced the opposite… Someone who causes enormous emotional damage while remaining completely convinced that everyone else is the problem. Many of us have encountered this type.

That is one of the crueler realities of destructive behavior. The person creating the chaos may walk away feeling justified, or create a false narrative where they appear justified, while the people who loved them are left trying to understand what happened to their confidence, their boundaries, their sense of reality, and sometimes even their ability to trust themselves.

The aftermath can be confusing because wounds created in relationships often follow us long after the relationship ends.

You may leave the person, but still carry their voice. You may escape the environment, but still react as though you are living inside it. You may know intellectually that something was unhealthy while your nervous system is still waiting for the next explosion.

There is plenty of diagnosed AND undiagnosed trauma when it comes to relationships.

That is why seeking therapy and healing is not an admission of fault or guilt. Getting help does not mean pointing the finger of blame.

Sometimes therapy is simply where you finally begin separating what happened to you from who you are.

And perhaps one of the greatest victories of healing is this: the damage may have reached you… but it does not get to become you.

It is a great step in not letting your history interfere with your destiny. 

 

Steve Maraboli