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Friday, September 11

Go Help Them or Be Quiet

There is something I find deeply ugly about how easily another person’s difficult times can become entertainment. Someone is struggling, their life is messy, they made a mistake, their relationship is falling apart… and suddenly their pain becomes a story passed from person to person.

The most swift of toxic minds finds a way of disguising gossip as concern. “I probably shouldn’t say anything, but…” “I just feel so bad for them…” “Did you hear what happened?” But concern that requires an audience usually isn’t concern. It is gossip wearing a nicer outfit.

Knowing someone’s business does not make it yours to distribute.

Life is hard enough without discovering that the people around you turned your hardest moments into conversation. There is something particularly cruel about taking information someone would probably rather keep private and using it to make yourself interesting for a few minutes.

Cowards! If you genuinely care about someone, find a way to help. Call them. Help them. Encourage them. Protect their dignity. Sit beside them while they figure things out.

Or don’t. But at least shut the F up!
And for those who don’t gossip, listen to how people speak about someone who isn’t there. It can tell you how carefully you should trust them with your own story.

Because one day it could be your life that gets messy… your mistakes on display… your marriage or family at its lowest moment. The last thing you would want is someone rushing to narrate it for an audience. 

Remember, compassion helps people carry their burdens.
Gossip makes those burdens heavier.

Go help them… or be quiet.

Steve Maraboli