How do you feel when you walk into someone’s house and it looks well-organized and pristinely clean? You immediately feel the need to kick off your shoes at the door and it doesn’t occur to you to eat on the couch or to make a mess in any way.
Do you feel the same urge of impeccable behavior when you walk into someone’s house and it’s dirty or a mess? Of course not; there is no need to. You see, without saying a word, but simply by their behavior and lifestyle, the homeowners have set a standard for how you will respect them and their space. By their actions, they have communicated a standard for how they want to be treated.
It’s easy to see this system of setting standards when applied to our homes but it is less simple, although equally true, to see how this same system affects our relationships.
What relationship standards are your behaviors and actions setting?
Do you love yourself, respect yourself, and treat yourself in a pristine respectable manner; inspiring others to do the same? Or do you break promises to yourself, not care for your health, not forgive yourself, and not show yourself respect; inspiring others to do the same?
What standard are you setting?
Many people make the mistake of expecting others to treat them in a more loving and respectful way than they treat themselves. If you don’t love yourself, stop expecting others to. If you don’t respect yourself, stop expecting others to. If you don’t keep promises to yourself, stop expecting others to. If you are not faithful to your dreams, your goals, and your resolutions, stop expecting others to be.
We inspire others to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. It is in this relationship that we set the standard for all others.
© Steve Maraboli